On this Father’s Day, I wanted to write you a little note that no card off the shelf at Publix really does justice to. I have done posts about Shivani & Neil, Colin, and even mom but I guess because you have always been the “silent man” in the background, I have kept it that way on my side as well. But this in no way means that I don’t know and see what you do and what you have done for us for all of these many years! I figure you became the “man in the background” considering you raised three (pretty outspoken and social) daughters and in a houseful of women who were always talking, laughing and arguing — can’t say I blame you!
But I want you to know that I remember many of the small, wonderful moments and have so much respect for what you have done and given our family. I remember when we lived in Maryland and we’d see you come home after a long day of work, just to go back off to night school while you earned your Master’s degree. I was just little but I remember how hard you worked and even then, would have time on the weekends to spend with the family! I remember when we moved to the country into our first house and you got us that ping-pong table for the basement so we could have a proper play space. I remember how you took me out for my birthday to go shopping for my first “fancy outfit” that included an oh-so-cool skirt & sweater and some gorgeous, furry/leather boots that I really wanted and I remember you saying then how I had expensive taste and you did it with a laugh and a smile! I remember you driving us to Chicago each summer and trips to Canada and playing with my sisters in the back of the Volare’ station wagon and even how you would tell mom “Usha, why did you pack all that food? We are on vacation and we can spend a little money!” But we’d still pull over at a rest area and have mom’s beautifully packed Indian food! But you’d make sure we stopped for ice cream somewhere along the way afterwards! When we moved to Georgia years later, I remember being really angry about the move at the time but the anger doesn’t stick in my memory, what sticks in my memory is that I couldn’t believe that you actually sat at the table with the family to ask us what we thought and really listened.
You taught us responsibility & accountability by trusting us with our decisions and quietly giving us your opinions along the way. I remember the year you lost your job and how I decided that I wouldn’t ask for anything – I couldn’t, it was not fair to add to your stress and so I wore a pair of tennis shoes for an entire year and a half and tried to save up by babysitting and even then, you still took us shopping to buy school clothes and not once did you allow us to feel your stress.
Over the years, as a family, we have gone through so many wonderful, crazy, sad, loving moments and I just want you to know that I remember them all. And although, you have been the ‘silent man’ through out much of it, I do know that it is not because you discount them any less – I think it is actually the absolute opposite – you have so much love and heart and strength that you have given us and without it, I would not be the woman that I am and I thank you for that every day.
Here’s a photo I pulled from an album you put together and I specifically included the bottom since I love how you were so detailed and wrote down the year and location of every photo!
Happy Father’s Day dad, I love you!